A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

it’s been a few years and I’m in my 50s now, can you believe that??? I got fucking old!

These days I write and I play harmonica. People tell me I’m getting pretty good. At the harmonica at least.

Anyway, you know that voice that comes around often telling you to sit down at a keyboard and write, or to pick up a musical instrument and play? You should listen to it.

Oh I know, you’ll give me good reasons why you can’t do that. Or if you start, why you should stop. You’re not good enough, you’ll look stupid, or you would but when you hold anything, it aggravates the pain in your spine.

You only say that because you’ve spent so long hiding your true self, you don’t recognise it when you see it.

The problem is that you have two voices inside of you.

• The one that told you you’re not good enough, you don’t belong here or there or anywhere. It’s noisy and it comes on strong and it shouts so loud you can’t even think straight.
• The other one whispers come out and play when you find something you love. It’s what makes your hair stand on end when you pick out a tune by ear or put something in such a way that people laugh. It’s quiet and it’s shy because it’s not used to being listened to.

Why would you only listen to the first voice and ignore the second voice?

You’ve got it mixed up.

The first comes from outside of you.

It’s what other people told you. It’s not you and it never was.

That second, quieter, one?

That’s the real you calling and it knows the way home.

Follow it.

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